2009 Christmas letter (with translation)

How many O’s are in your last name? Nine.

We have no O's in our last name, but it is '09 (sorry for the tardy post)

Richard stayed in the same place almost the entire year. Tin Medallion, not magnetic ink. Hair cuts; occasionally a tie. Tie goes to the runner. When Big Pappy hits one over the green monster it’s usually not an out. Who runs the outfit? The more things stay the same, the less they change. Madison Avenue & 42nd Street: some guy from India or Pakistan (couldn’t tell which) chased him down and yelled at him. Perhaps he deserved it. Bangkok: didn’t go there. Half the moon is dark all the time. Nice place to visit if you have a riding lawnmower to put away. Didn’t jump much with Jane or Rochelle, but hurt the same joint anyway. Fix the floor Sam, make a new basement, Bob. Surgery? Retirement? The family ROI would be higher if he just booted the pail.

Richard's job stayed the same. He worked hard and went a long time between hair cuts. He did a lot less traveling, losing platinum status on Atlanta's favorite airline which he had had for several years. His absence of status was most obvious when after boarding a flight (on American, however) an airline official came on board and told him he would have to get off because the flight was overweight. Really? It was an interesting day. Not flying that airline again if he can help it. He played NYC city league softball games with his employer's team. The 20 something captain of the team (seeing his slightly greying hair) asked him before the first game if he had played much. He went 3 for 4 that game with the out being a shot over a very high left field wall (reminiscent of Fenway) that protected a city street, to protect the cars, such hits are ruled outs rather than home runs, but the coach started calling him Big Pappy. Someone handed him a flyer on 42nd Street and seeing that he both didn't want it and that a nearby news stand had one exactly like it sitting on a ledge, he laid his down there too. The proprietor threw a fit, chased him down the street and insisted that he come back and pick it up. He did. A momentary thought about a job assignment in Asia, was all in his imagination. Built (or supervised) a new storage shed in the back yard - windows only in half, leaving the other half dark. Built and supervised newly finished basement in his house, and helped Rachel fix the floor and other things in their house, somehow injuring his knee and is wondering if he needs surgery. Wonders if he is just getting old and should die and collect on the insurance. Remember, he grew up next to a mortuary : )

In a twist of logic worthy of a biblical parable, Rochelle lost, but won in the end – and in other places too. She won so much that all her pants fell off at the same time – the wall, that is, at bedtime. Balloons, money, a bag of soup to eat with a fork. 4 was better than par for that course. She didn’t hit very many home runs, but like Mark McGwire, no Hall of Fame. Her meniscus is not in her hip. Geometry took a back seat to jumping Jane. Has anyone seen Grandma Manning running the streets of Inkom? Carry me back to old Virginny – for a week or so. Just don’t call me Gammie. She can finally get rid of all that stuff she’s been waiting to give away – and use some of the rest of it. She doesn’t wear a hairpiece, but she would probably drive 4 hours each way to see the gridiron on a Saturday pm – especially after learning the rules.

Rochelle joined a "biggest loser" game with some real and virtual friends and won - returning to her pre-marriage weight. She bought new clothes, pants among them (size 4) and one night as we were retiring, we heard a strange noise and ultimately found that the rail and shelf in the closet that holds her pants had fallen off the wall due to the added weight. She did lots of aerobics and running and given her new size, she started doing the high intensity version. She had a rash on her foot that required a steroid-based gel. So no hall of fame for her. When Rachel had a baby (Nov 30), Rochelle became a grandmother and went to Virginia to spend a week with the newborn and mother. She has been hoarding baby things for years - clothes, a crib, more clothes, a car seat, more clothes, and she was finally able to either use them or give them to Rachel. She also developed a love for football. She went to all of Ben's games, of course, but she also watched every one of BYU's football games - her choice. And started talking about being sure to retire someday in a place that would allow her to go to BYU football games live. She must be her father's daughter.

Rachel and Shiloh have a dog, eieio. And on that dog they put a basement eieio. And an opossum. Fix the floors and paint the walls, Dan. Since August, Rachel carried a spare volleyball under her shirt so she could join any pick-up game that happened to materialize. In November, basketball season started (women's size of course). She traded in the ball in for someone they call Harper Sophia Allen, but waited 19 days to tell her parents. Beautiful, of course, but just consider the grandparents. Mexico was even nicer without H1N1, and going to the other side of the Bishop was even a better move; checkmate. Shiloh can pitch just like Tug McGraw. Just stay out of the way or we’ll be talking about OJ. After you win the Emmy, what’s next? The Nobel Prize and a nomination to the Daughters of the Russian Revolution. Don’t tell me it’s not cold out there.

Rachel and Shiloh bought a house in Virginia. Long story short: they had a deal to buy a house next to their bishop (religious leader in local congregation), but it fell through. They ended up buying the house on the other side of the bishop's house that also happened to be vacant. There was some fix up involved (see Richard's note) but it's a good place. Rachel also spent most of the year being pregnant, though she didn't get very big. Her daughter was born on her due date, 6 lbs 2 oz. When she sent a text announcing the birth, she mistakenly said the baby had been born on December 18. They had a nice vacation in Mexico in the summer, Shiloh does this hand to hand combat training thing named something like Crawg McGraw - most of us don't know how to pronounce it - and just keep our distance.

P.S., Chris, it’s pronounced like a French word. Still the man of the age - ment. Back at the mother ship after a side trip to Tweenerville. Vacation? What’s that? When you’re the moon, scientists look at you. Sometimes they even visit, and dig. She drives a nice car; is that a peace symbol? Who would want to examine a graduate record? Wouldn’t you rather say “gee, Matt”? Maybe not, I suppose. Slavery is illegal of course – maybe they actually call it indentured servitude. The professional teen shakes a good deal. Pro teen, pro teen, pro teen. Jewels, events, music, dinners, extra cash. Professional wait lifter? Pick up what Rochelle dropped, though of a different composition. Red car, red car, white truck, blue. I have elbows, and a shoe. Julia Child for a while. Lots of other stories that move – and pretend to shoot those guys. Ant, bug baby, uncle. Dog?

Chris is still managing a clothing store for a major chain. He helped launch an "early teen" version of his store, but after a while, returned to the central chain. He works very hard and seems underpaid to his father, but he seems good at his job and seems to be appreciated by his management. All good. He drinks protein shakes and lifts weights, drives a red Passat, and for a time drove the little white truck. He works so hard that he doesn't have a ton of free time, but occasionally finds time for a movie or a video game. Enjoys being an uncle to a little girl.

Arrin. Scoop ice cream. No soup for you! Hey kid, don’t go out on those rocks, learn how to make an egg sandwich. Tips, but don’t tip over. Dorm free, as free as the wind-ows. It helps to have nice countertops when the snow gets deep. Grocery stores, The Ring, Senora: all have one thing in common. Would you buy my dinner please? Pay for a movie? No need. Drive red despite being a fan of the blue, but not the white truck. Winter weather in London is lovely, I hear. Does anyone really understand what homotheticity means? And why did Slutsky have an equation when he could have had a kayak? Perhaps because it’s cold in Russia, though not usually in southern Cal. Perhaps she’ll try swimming to Catalina next time. Guilty, not guilty? At least it helps get a job, sometimes. Auntie em(n)! on Skype. Rocks, faults, Madison Ave, Wimbledon, constrained optimization.

Arrin had a good year, surviving freshman year at BYU and working this summer at two jobs in CT. One at a sandwich shop with an ice cream counter, the other as a life guard at a beach club. Sophomore year in an apartment much nicer than a dorm room and other things have made life much more enjoyable. Enough dates to see the local restaurants for free, a red Ford Escape to drive, hates our pick up truck. Spending the coming semester on study abroad in London - but that's getting ahead of the game. She took her first serious economic theory class, homotheticity and Slutsky equations are topics of discussion. Went to California for a fun weekend including a sea kayak outing. Took a tennis class, loves being an aunt, studied geology and advertising, and took calculus.

Pretty soon it’s Alice Cooper time, Ben. Hitting harder than the body is built for and rattling that brain causes problems. Is there still a hole in that capsule? Hang up the cleats champ - 4th time. No need for a stick anymore. Ute? Cougareat? Portugal? Mongolia? Pocatello? Call him Tio Feijão. Not Ugly Betty. Sometimes his skin sparkles in the sun, and isn’t he fast! Why a bed in his closet? Jackie L. wants to kiss him, or him to kiss her. The question is does she know where the Maginot line is? Perhaps the others will be jealous. Where is Sigmund when you need him to explain things? Time for Seminary, Tyler. Explore eco friendliness – with tinted windows and a Goth look. Art is digital, talent is innate. The wing shines, many see it, the clouds sparkle. The colors are mysterious. Is that a bug baby? Can you play polo in a suit and tie? Don’t get up too early. And lift weight.

Ben is progressing through his Senior year, looking forward to moving on. His senior year on the football team was cut short by injury. Sprained shoulder at lacrosse camp in the summer and concussion early in the football season brought an end to the playing, but the team managed to win its fourth consecutive state championship without his services - somehow. He will either go to BYU or the U of Utah, and then plans on going on a mission to...? He's also happy to be an uncle, he doesn't use his closet because he has lots of room on the floor of his bedroom and his rule of organization is: if you can see it, you know where it is. Some people think he looks like Edward from Twilight when he dresses appropriately anyway. A good friend of his sister was home over Thanksgiving and provided a very entertaining verbal faux pas (implied pun intended). He drives a black Ford Explorer and has tinted its windows, modified many accessories from blue to black and done whatever else he can to make it black from nose to tail and top to tires. He has become a gifted photographer - check out his Flicker page.

Selected Reference:

Manning, R. (2009) “Really?” The Journal of Applied and Theoretical Anthropology, Geology, Physics and Abnormal Psychology, v 14, no 1, accessed on 12/28/2009 at www.rrmanning.blogspot.com.

Did you get this?