2008 Christmas Letter (with translation)

2008 is even. Early in the year Richard declared his candidacy for President, like almost everyone else, but withdrew when he saw how far away Alaska really is. After 11.5 years without a Super Bowl appearance, or an $84 million payout, he put down the blue football, walked down 42nd and stopped at Madison. He doesn’t think he’s lost, but not having enough personality to be a CPA, it’s hard to tell. Three minutes from desk to train and bologna soup at lunch. Uncle Jerry had a shirt stuck on his head, and he looks kind of old and overweight, but at least he’s entertaining. And he mostly behaved himself on and around the boat; surprise.

Richard didn't really run for office but he did make a feeble attempt at running the 4 on the 4th by himself when the rest of the family chickened out! (Yes, just 4 miles.) He also left Pfizer in September to take a job at a large accounting/consulting firm, which is just a few blocks from his former employer in NYC. His commute is a couple of minutes shorter now. It's a new line of work, so let's hope he is good at it; and let's hope the economy doesn't shut down entirely. We went on some trips with family and he was a perfect (and entertaining) gentleman - he thinks. He and Rochelle also tried sky diving (but just as a pretense). And he jumped in a swimming pool fully clothed - repeatedly.

Rochelle didn’t have cosmetic surgery – she promises. She brought a bit of Montana along in search of Figaro. Cold showers and inedible oranges didn’t help with the Flamenco, though the patio did look nice. Flying in the wind makes you look taller, which is important when you still sing to little kids and want to zip from tree to tree without falling or being eaten by a bear. The release from prison was welcome but bittersweet – a lot of friends there – but how does it compare to early morning cemetery duty? She didn’t kill that deer or wreck the car, but she came to a greater appreciation of Pythagoras while cutting and sewing small pieces.

Rochelle got her hair cut a couple of times and remains beautiful as ever. We went with Shiloh's wonderful parents and two siblings to southern Spain in December last year. The cottage we rented had a solar water heating system with limited capacity so if you travel all day and shower at night or early in the morning, it's a rude awakening. There were lots of interesting things to see and do, but she does prefer to be warm. Rochelle's siblings and spouses also went with her parents on an Alaska cruise, avoiding death and dismemberment while exhibiting derring do. She is still teaching music a couple of days a week at a local pre-school. She is no longer Relief Society (the women's organization in our church) President, but now volunteers as a teacher for early morning (6:00 a.m.) Seminary (religious instruction for high school students). Is that a relief? She started making hand cut and machine sewn quilts, and learned some things about geometry and manual labor in the process.

Rachel and Shiloh came to rest in Glebeland not far from the soccer field and grocery store. Shiloh doesn’t see Sergeant Carter much anymore, but he still talks to his friends and sometimes refers to himself as Maxwell and makes really nice music with a metal bowl. Rachel has experienced alienation from her means of production. Sometimes she asks, “Well other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?” She won the Nobel Prize in PowerPoint and got to choose between a $1million dollar prize and a pack of bubble gum; don’t bother checking the bank account. Queen of the blogosphere, but not bald. Addie sits still for food and doesn’t kill.

Rachel and Shiloh live in Arlington, VA; both with real jobs. No more training, graduate school or other things on the horizon. Rachel works very long hours at a PR firm in DC but says she enjoys it most of the time and is doing very well by all accounts. One of her major projects has involved the reonvation of the Ford Theatre. She was on a team that won a presentation competition at work. Shiloh does that thing he does for Uncle Sam and loves it. I'm sure he is good at it, but we don't talk about such things much. Addie the dog still entertains and amazes with slick tricks.

Chris has a good room with a motto on the wall. It isn’t clear how serious he is about it, but the rent is not too bad, so maybe that’s why. The floor is often very soft and lumpy in some places. He joined the French Foreign Legion, or maybe the airmail system. The place sells underwear and outerwear and in between too. Man is first. Men is toward the end, then t. If it’s not Abercrombie and it’s not Who A U, what is it? What about teaching people to speak English in Belize, or trying to find Calvin Klein and give him a soda? Count to three and smile.

Chris is a manager (MANageMENT) at a large retail chain serving teenagers, living with us while thinking about moving on, having some fun but working a lot. He has done some part-time work as a model and as staff at some high-fashion events which has given him some interesting opportunities to meet famous people and have pictures taken. His father has tried to convince him that joining the Peace Corps would be fun. And yes, we do know the national language of Belize. We just thought it was funny. Did you?

Arrin pumped and now has to do what Ben did, but they didn’t ask if she is Eli’s niece. Standing on the football field, the crowd looks a lot bigger, especially when it seems like almost everyone else is blonde. It is not Carnegie and it is not engineering, but it is bright, the drivers are crazy, and some of the classes are hard but not most. The locker is nice, but why give her a red shirt when things are mostly blue? Does she have a walk and lack of grace? Maybe because the stick is long and bendy, if you are strong enough. How many does it take to fill up a Helium hall?

Arrin is a Freshman living in the dorms at BYU. She has walked on with the track team as a pole vaulter. She injured her shoulder in workouts and weight lifting and had surgery just before Thanksgiving so she is taking this year as a redshirt year while she heals. Recall that Ben had shoulder surgery last year following a football injury. She used the same surgeon (NY Giants surgeon) who has an Eli Manning jersey hanging in his waiting room. She has decided not to do civil engineering for the time being because it would have dominated her life and left little time for other things - like track. She is doing well, but seems to miss home some.

Ben finally got his wings, though the sugar shack was done a long time ago. He is relieved; so is Rochelle. Punctuality and pugnaciousness are often confused, but not by Ben. He always knows how far to turn a corner even if he doesn’t see the trailer. He carries around a lot of books. He didn’t do what he did last year because it is Arrin’s turn, but he is doing what she did. He has nimble thumbs and aspires to be a court stenographer. He practices a lot. He says, “throw that ball, hit this guy, check that guy, solve for imaginary roots, count a mole, stir a bowl.”

Ben earned the Eagle Scout rank early in the summer but just recently had his court of honor. He managed to get in a minor fender bender and struggles to get up early enough and stay alert for Seminary some times - who doesn't? He suffered a concussion late in the football season (recall that Arrin had the same injury last year) so he had to miss the last three games, including the state championship, which his team won (third year running). He works hard at school and is doing well. He expects to play lacrosse again and now that his shoulder is healed, he is going to try pole vaulting for the HS track team. He sends about a million text messages a minute - maybe a billion.

That’s the guts.

That's enough of that.